THE DIFFERENT STAGES OF MARRIAGE

 

1. THE AMAZEMENT STAGE: 

This is the "wow" stage. Lots of new things to discover with your spouse. The newness, the freshness is so amazing. Sleeping on the same bed, wearing the same attire, cooking for him, doing house chores with her, bathing together. Wearing your dazzling wedding ring everywhere, turning people's head at the newest couple around. Loads and lots of fun. Sexual exploration and excitement. Being in control of your kitchen, feeding him and lots more. It's the honeymoon stage and it's so so beautiful.

2. THE IRRITATION STAGE: 

This is when you begin to notice weaknesses you have overlooked or blissfully wish they go away but didn't. The repetition of such weaknesses begins to work on your nerves and you are getting irritated: he snores a lot, she is slow in the kitchen, she belches loudly, he screams unnecessarily, she won't bathe before coming to bed or shave, he spends many hours watching football and ignores you when you talk. "What's just wrong with this guy?" You think aloud, well it's part of marriage.

3. THE ANGER STAGE: 

This is when the repetition of such weaknesses gets on your nerves and you display your anger. The introverted partners stuffs it in and either keep malice, avoid you or stubbornly continue with the irritating habit. It's the stage you begin to wonder: "have I really married the wrong guy?" "Have I married the wrong woman?" No, you did not, you are simply going through a phase together.

4. THE RESOLUTION STAGE: 

When you both begin to face the reality of marriage and acknowledge your partner's weaknesses. You eventually realize anger and malice does not solve any problem and begins to find ways to deal with your differences, both of you begin to compromise here and there and adjust to each other.

5. THE ACCEPTANCE STAGE: 

When it dawned on you that some things are just part of your partner and may never change. You resigned from anger, abuse and quarrel and choose to accept them, lovingly adjust to them and enjoy them regardless of their weaknesses.

6. THE RESTFUL STAGE:

This is the stage you permanently accept them with all their strengths, weaknesses, short comings and flaws and love them unconditionally regardless of what they do. This is real love -agape, divine and true. You reconnect emotionally, spiritually and physically at a deeper level and enjoy honey moon again while building a lasting marriage regardless of the challenges you face.

Note : There is no perfect marriage. 

Every marriage goes through this stages. How you handle it will determine if you will come out bitter or better.

Always keep God at the centre of your home and you obey the word of God daily.

Nevertheless, do not be disappointed if you go through the unpleasant stages in marriage. It is a phase and will surely end.

Handle your marriage with wisdom and keep loving regardless of the challenges you face. That is what will make your marriage a heaven on earth experience.

Marry Well My Brother

 

You are not a rehabilitation center for women who were badly raised. It’s not your job to fix her, mold her, or teach her how to act like a grown woman. You are not her father, her therapist, or her savior. You need a wife—a partner who’s ready to stand beside you and build something real—not a project that you’re constantly trying to fix. You’re a man, not a social worker. If she wasn’t raised properly, if she’s coming into the relationship with chaos, disrespect, or childish behavior, you need to walk away.

Don't waste your time in marriage trying to please the sexual desires of a sex maniac who's veriginal cavity has been mercilessly patronised by toy peniss, electronic peniss and vibrators and the peniss of drug users who perform sex for name and not for fun. She will soon cheat on you because she is looking for a human being to give her what toys and electronics gives her.

You won't impress her till you die. Such idiots only appreciate profits from men and not efforts of genuine lovers.

Let’s get real—if her own father couldn’t raise her right, what makes you think you can? If the man who brought her into this world, who had years to shape and guide her, couldn’t get the job done, trust me, you’re not going to succeed where he failed. It’s not on you to correct years of bad behavior, laziness, entitlement, or disrespect. You’ve got your own life to build, your own mission to focus on. You don’t have time to parent a grown woman.

Stop taking on women who come with baggage and issues they refuse to address. If she’s disrespectful, ungrateful, or constantly testing your patience, she’s not someone you should be dealing with. You need peace in your life, not chaos. Your home should be a place where you recharge, where you build, where you focus on your goals—not a battleground where you’re constantly having to “fix” someone else’s problems. You can’t fix her, and it’s not your job to.

There’s a difference between supporting a woman and raising her. A woman who’s ready to be your wife will already have the basics in place: self-respect, discipline, emotional maturity, and a sense of responsibility. If she’s lacking those things, she’s not ready to be a wife—she’s still trying to figure herself out. That’s not your burden to bear. You’re not her father. You shouldn’t have to teach her how to respect you, how to communicate, or how to be a decent human being. That’s a bare minimum expectation. Such fools eat for cravings and  pleasure and not for healthy living.

And let’s be clear—you can’t change her. No amount of patience, love, or effort on your part is going to transform her into the woman you want her to be. She is who she is. You can either accept that or walk away. But don’t waste your life thinking you can reshape a broken foundation. If she didn’t come to you already prepared to be a wife, she’s not your responsibility to fix. It’s not your job to be her teacher or her guide through life. You want a wife, not a project.

Stop thinking you can “save” her from her own bad habits, upbringing, or toxic behavior. That’s a fantasy, not reality. Real men don’t waste time trying to mold someone into something they’re not. You want a woman who is already equipped to be your partner—not someone who you have to constantly correct, explain things to, or drag along through life. If she’s not wife material, she’s not worth your time.

If she’s been disrespectful, lazy, or spoiled her whole life, what makes you think she’s going to change for you? A woman raised with bad habits is going to bring those habits into your relationship, and you’ll spend every day fighting against her nature. That’s not a marriage—that’s a burden. You deserve better than that. Find a woman who already has the qualities you want, not someone who’s a long-term project that’s going to drain your energy.

You’re a man on a mission, and you don’t have time to babysit someone who wasn’t raised properly. You need a woman who can support your grind, not slow it down. If she’s bringing nothing but problems into your life, it’s time to let her go. You can’t fix what’s broken inside her, and it’s not your job to.

Brother, you deserve to be happy.

You deserve rest.

You deserve peace.

Don't condemn yourself into the hands of a woman that is not worthy of you!!

Your life will be messed up if you try that nonsense.

You will soon start raising children after marriage, don't waste no time raising a foolish woman. It will distract you from your God ordained assignment of raising children.

I am I. D. Samuel PhD. Peace And Conflict Resolution 

Your Love and relationship therapist!!

Bloodline

"Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth and called 'uncircumcised' by those who call themselves 'the circumcision' (which is done in the body by human hands)-remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ." Ephesians 2:11-13 (NIV)

Some days I'm pleased with who I am. Some days I've really got it together. I start the day with some quiet time with just me and God. Normal morning hassles getting three kids ready don't bother me. Throughout the day I'm confident in my decisions and abilities.
Other days I exhaust and frustrate myself, especially when I'm not quite so pleasant. Annoyance starts with the first step out of bed if I've overslept, or woken up too early thinking about all I have to do. Graciousness evaporates as I allow life's demands to dictate my mood. Insecurities prompt defensiveness. Doubt overshadows faith.
One day I'm smiling and kind; the next day I'm scowling and grouchy. So which is the real me?
We can all struggle with wondering who we really are, especially when we fall short of who we really want to be. And when the answer seems to be different day-by-day, it's easy to give up even trying to change ... to be a better person.
To settle this question, I've had to dig deep. For I believe God wants me to know the answer. Knowing who I really am in God's eyes is a game changer. It changes my motivations, which changes my goals and inspires me to be consistent in who I am and how I act. God's truth about my identity serves as a filter for the world's lies and the judgment of others. It protects my heart from damage.
So where do we find this definition?
Are we defined by our birth? Are we who our parents are? Do their professional and personal successes or failures define us? Does it matter where we are born or to whom? Two of my children were born in an African war zone. Is that who they are?
Or are we defined by our behavior? For years I defined myself by achieving success and accomplishing tasks. The more checks to the left of the items on my to-do list, the better I felt.
There's a problem with both of these definitions. The first is out of my control. I have no say about where I was born or to whom. And it can give me a false sense of entitlement or discouragement. The second is undependable at best. Sometimes circumstances are out of control too. And even when my behavior is in my control, I can react from my human yuck-filled side.
Thankfully, there is another way to define ourselves. It's found in our bloodline as a child of God. A lineage that was bought for us through the death of Jesus as Ephesians 2 tells us. "But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ."
His sacrifice defines who we really are: Loved. Chosen. Treasured. Ransomed. Forgiven. Worth it. When I accept and believe these definitions for myself, I'm inspired to change. I believe it's possible.
Thankfully, we didn't have to be born in the "right" place, or behave "just so" to get this new identity. It's not based on our checkbook, scale or what our friends think of us. We receive it when we accept Christ as our Savior.

Birth, behavior or bloodline? I know which one truly defines me. Do you?
Heavenly Father, thank You for sending Your Son to die for me, so that our relationship could be reconciled. Help me to remember that it's in Your bloodline that I find my true identify. In Jesus' Name, Amen

⚠️𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐃! ⚠️

1. 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄: This category of people are energy drainers and time wasters. Such people would always want you to do everything for them. They don’t care about your own good but only theirs. They believe it’s your problem to solve their problems. One terrible thing about “wheelbarrow” is that, after you have laboured to load it up, you will still have to labour to push before it moves.

Note: Wheelbarrow people are consumers of energy, time and resources.

2. 𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐓𝐎 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄: This set of people are only interested in sucking goodies out of your life and injected poison in replacement. They are benefits seekers but will never add values to others. Mosquito people have nothing good to offer but always want to derive goodness from others. Here is one terrible thing about “Mosquitos”, they only sing around you whenever they want to suck your blood and give you malaria.

Note: Mosquito people only sing your praises when they have something to benefit from you, while they backbite and backstab you thereafter.

3. 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄: This category of people are glory seekers and takers. Just because they have helped you at one time or another, they would want to be god over your life. They want to always control you and dictate the directions of your life. They won’t want you to be free and shine on your own but to always be under them.

One good thing about “Scaffolding” is that it’s useful but it’s usefulness is for short-term purpose. It is dangerous to be kept for permanent purpose.

Note: You must know when the relevances of scaffolding people have started constituting nuisance to your personal development and progress. And at such a time, all you must do is to discard them without delay, if not, your star will never shine.

4. 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄: This category of people are nothing but pretenders. They don't have good reasons or godly intentions for getting closer to you. They only get close to know your secrets and will possibly use whatever personal information they know about you against you at any slightest provocation or disagreement. Crocodile people are not pretenders, they are liars, backstabbers, gossipers and twaddlers.

Note: Crocodile people would pretend to gain your empathy and make you vulnerable to their attack thereafter.

5. 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄: This set of people are envious and full of jealousy. They are always in unhealthy competition with you. They pretend as if they are going the same direction with you but only to silently monitor your life's progress with evil and negative intentions. They are envious of your success and as a result enter into competitive jealousy with you. Chameleon people are friends that will neither support you nor celebrate your progress, but would always amplify your downfall and mistakes.

Note: A jealous and envious friend can go any length to sabotage your efforts, frustrate your plans and destroy your dreams.

6. 𝐍𝐀𝐘𝐒𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄: This set of people are dream killers. They won't appreciate your dreams and they will never support it. They will tell you 1001 reasons why your dream is impossible. They won't see your efforts but will always capitalise on your failed attempts. They will always see your cup half-empty and not half-full. When you are working on solutions, they would be busy creating more problems for you. They are passion killers and hope drainers.

Note: Naysayer People don't have dreams, so they will neither appreciate your dream nor support it.

7. 𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐁𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐏𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄: This category of people are the worst of them all. They don't have anything good to offer. Their lives are full of debris, dirtiness and trashes. They are carriers of bad and negative news. They are carriers and disseminators discouraging and demoralizing information. Anytime they surface, it means they have something negative to talk about. They a peddlers of unfortunate events and negative development.

Note: Garbage Pusher People are always the first set of people to twit, post and broadcast ungodly, unfortunate, unprofitable and heartbreaking information.

You know them on your list as I also have them on my list too.

𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘:

It is your sole responsibility to examine your life to really understand what categories of people you are surrounded with. Your life can only move in the right direction the moment you start associating with positive people & disconnect from negative people.

✨P.s Only the real authentic ones come near me, all else please don't!! I'm exhausted from all these above, too many pretenders out there!! 🕊️💚✨🙏

THE PRAYER QUAKE

 

THE PRAYER QUAKE 

This is a Breakthrough & Deliverance prayer meeting. It is a powerful conference of prayers designed to wage warfare against the satanic forces of darkness at work against every area of your life. These prayers are reminiscent of the desperate cry of Isaiah in Isaiah 64:1-2 that God would rip the heavens apart and come down; that the mountain would melt at his presence and that God would make himself known to his enemies. It is this urgent cry for help which has pervaded the lives of many people who are crying out desperately for divine intervention; that has led Shabach to develop a series of prayers focused on inviting the power of God to come down and fight against every enemy militating against your life, destiny, family, career, business and ministry. Chains will be broken, yokes will be destroyed and burdens will be lifted as you invite the power of God to come down and make himself known to your enemies who are fighting against you relentlessly. I don't know what you are going through today but I prophetically declare to you that Help is on the way! Stuck between a rock and a hard place? HELP is on the way! Struggling financially to make ends meet? HELP is on the way! Feeling to quit and give up now? HELP is on the way! Pressures and struggles of life are seeking to drown you in despair? HELP is on the way! Whatever situation you are facing right now lift your hands and shout HELP ME LORD! May the God who answers by fire, give you the victory today.

JOIN US IN OCTOBER PRAYER QUAKE

This Sunday 13th October 2024. By 3pm

@ Shabach Yeshua Global Arena. By St Luke's Junction close to the Solomon Lar Amusement Park Jos.

07038354762

STRATEGIC PLANNING FOR INCLUSIVITY AND DIVERSITY BY Dr. Bright Otso

 

Strategic planning for inclusivity and diversity in an organization requires intentional efforts to create an environment where everyone feels valued, respected, and empowered. Key steps to achieving this:

1, Define Diversity and Inclusivity Goals:

Establish clear goals for increasing diversity in hiring, retention, and promotion. Inclusivity should focus on ensuring all voices are heard and respected.

Align these goals with the organization's broader vision and values, showing commitment at every level of leadership.

2, Assess Current Culture and Practices:

Conduct audits or surveys to identify gaps in diversity and inclusivity, analyzing team demographics, feedback from employees, and areas where inclusivity may be lacking.

Review existing policies, procedures, and workplace norms to identify barriers to inclusivity.

3, Implement Inclusive Hiring Practices:

Use blind recruitment techniques to minimize unconscious bias in the hiring process.

Create diverse hiring panels and focus on underrepresented groups in recruitment efforts.

Write job descriptions that appeal to diverse candidates by avoiding exclusionary language.

4, Foster an Inclusive Environment:

Promote employee resource groups (ERGs) to provide support and networking opportunities for underrepresented groups.

Encourage open dialogue through workshops, training, and safe spaces where employees can discuss issues related to diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI).

Regularly celebrate diversity through events and activities that recognize different cultures, perspectives, and experiences.

5, Continuous Training and Development:

Provide ongoing DEI training to raise awareness of unconscious bias, microaggressions, and privilege.

Develop leadership programs that empower employees from diverse backgrounds to grow into leadership roles.

6, Measure and Monitor Progress:

Track key performance indicators (KPIs) related to diversity and inclusivity, such as hiring rates, retention, employee engagement, and satisfaction surveys.

Regularly review progress and adjust strategies as needed to address new challenges or areas of improvement.

7, Create Accountability Structures:

Establish DEI committees or appoint a Chief Diversity Officer to ensure ongoing accountability and ownership of DEI efforts.

Tie leadership performance reviews and incentives to achieving diversity and inclusivity goals.

8, Promote Psychological Safety:

Build a culture where team members feel safe to express their ideas, take risks, and provide feedback without fear of negative consequences.

Encourage managers to actively seek out input from all team members, ensuring that quieter or less-represented voices are heard.

By embedding inclusivity into strategic planning, an organization can foster a workplace where diverse perspectives are valued, and all employees can contribute meaningfully to the organization’s success.

Thank you 

Rt Rev Dr Bright Otso 

The Metropolitan Bishop 

brightotso@gmail.com 

+234-803-797-6256

"SEVEN KEYS FOR STRATEGIC LEADERSHIP” by Dr Bright Otso

 

"SEVEN KEYS FOR STRATEGIC LEADERSHIP” by Dr Bright Otso 

Here are seven key lesson to note:

1, Strategic Vision: Effective leaders possess a clear and strategic vision. They understand not just immediate goals but also long-term implications and broader contexts.

2, Historical Perspective: Leadership is enhanced by understanding history and its patterns. Leaders who study historical precedents are better equipped to make informed decisions.

3, Pragmatism Over Ideology: Successful leaders prioritize pragmatic solutions over rigid adherence to ideology. They adapt their strategies based on practical considerations and evolving circumstances.

4, Diplomatic Skills: Mastery of diplomacy and negotiation is crucial. Leaders should be adept at managing relationships and conflicts to achieve their goals.

5, Decisive Action: Effective leadership involves making tough decisions decisively, often in complex and uncertain situations. Leaders must balance caution with the need for action.

6, Resilience and Adaptability: Leaders need resilience to overcome setbacks and the adaptability to navigate changing environments and challenges.

7, Moral and Ethical Considerations: While strategic acumen is important, leaders must also consider the moral and ethical dimensions of their decisions, ensuring they align with broader values and principles.

Thank you

Rt Rev Dr Bright Otso 

The Metropolitan Bishop 

brightotso@gmail.com 

+234-803-797-6256