BASIC FACTS ABOUT COURTSHIP


What are the basic facts about courtship?

Courtship: The Basics
who, what, when, where, how, and why

WHO participates in courtship?

  • An unmarried man
  • The unmarried woman to whom God has drawn his heart
  • Both sets of parents
Other Godly counselors and family members may be invited to offer insight as both families seek to discern the will of God.

WHAT is the goal of courtship?

A man and a woman enter into courtship to discern if God is leading them to marry one another as part of His plan to fulfill His purposes in their lives and in His Kingdom.

WHEN should a man initiate a courtship?

A courtship should commence when God has confirmed that this is the right time for the man to pursue marriage and that this woman could very likely be the helpmate God has been preparing to be his wife. God often confirms His direction through His Word, the witness of the Holy Spirit, and the approval of God-given authorities. (See Matthew 4:4, 2 Corinthians 13:1, John 14:26, and Proverbs 6:20–24.)

WHERE does the couple carry out the courtship?

Each courtship is unique. Sometimes the individuals live in the same town, but in other cases, they live thousands of miles apart. If possible, the couple should spend time with both families, especially participating in activities with their parents and siblings. Group activities with family and friends can provide safe environments in which the couple can get to know one another and observe how each responds in different situations. Depending on the individuals, e-mails, letters, phone calls, and having private time together in a setting that both avoids an appearance of evil and provides accountability also may be appropriate.

HOW should accountability be established during courtship?

Since each courtship is unique, parents whose children are entering a courtship relationship should communicate with one another to establish guidelines of accountability for the couple. In some cases, it may be appropriate to involve close friends and a pastor.

WHY is courtship the best choice as a means to find your marriage partner?

Courtship is a commitment to honor God as you seek a life partner and to protect both individuals in the process of confirming God’s will. It focuses on obedience to the principles of God’s Word and the fulfillment of His plan in the lives of the man and woman. (See Matthew 6:33.) It honors the authorities He has placed in your lives and provides the unique protection they can offer.
The process of courtship seeks to avoid many of the pitfalls that often exist in dating relationships, which are frequently focused on the selfish pleasures of gaining entertainment or sensual gratification. A man and woman engaged in dating often do not share a long-range goal for their relationship. The couple is often seeking momentary pleasure, and consequently they do not assume proper responsibility for their behavior toward one another. (See 2 Timothy 2:22.)

5 REASONS WHY PURITY IS POWERFUL


And A Sister in our church said to me "Papa, I was in a 7th-grade bible study when I made the vow to God to save my purity for my husband.  Throughout high school and college, people would say, “there’s no way you’ll stay a virgin” or “don’t you want to test drive the car before buying it?” “what if you don’t have good sex once you’re married and then you’re trapped?” I thought, “I’m pretty sure if God has asked me to do something, it’s for a real good reason. I figured this would be an extremely good way to quickly filter out who was husband material and who wasn’t.

If a man doesn’t respect and even treasure your decision to wait until marriage, then he probably isn’t the man you want. Compromising your values to get a guy to like or accept you isn’t a good way to start a relationship. Sex before marriage is common and acceptable in our society, especially since we are desensitized by the constant, underlying messages of sex in the media.  I have talked to so many women who say they wish they would have waited but didn’t have anyone tell them it was okay or explain the value in it.

I believe a lot of heartaches, emotional distress, confusion, unplanned pregnancies and diseases could be prevented if young women believed they were worth waiting for their husbands. This can be a sensitive topic and people are more than welcome to disagree with me. I want to speak to the young women who haven’t been equipped and informed that being abstinent is cool, beautiful and rewarding.

If you have already been sexually active, that’s okay too. It’s never too late to set new standards and be who you want to be.

Here are 5 reasons why Purity is Powerful:

1. It Maintains Wholeness:
When women have sex, a chemical is released in our brains called oxytocin. It is a chemical that bonds babies and mothers together through nursing. “When it is released during an orgasm, it begins creating an emotional bond — the more sex, the greater the bond.” – Dr Fisher, Therefore, you are binding yourself to that person, which is why women typically get emotionally attached. Think of this chemical as a glue that has melded you to this guy.

7 REASONS WHY GOD WANTS YOU WEALTHY


7 REASONS WHY GOD WANTS YOU WEALTHY.   
      1. God wants to bless YOU.
 Psalm 35:27 says:
“Let them shout for joy, and be glad, that favour my righteous cause: yea, let them say continually, Let the Lord be magnified, which hath pleasure in the prosperity of his servant.”
God wants your bills paid, your needs met and your family blessed.
Psalm 84:11 in the Amplified Bible says:
“For the Lord God is a Sun and Shield; the Lord bestows [present] grace and favour and [future] glory (honour, splendour, and heavenly bliss)! No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.”
God’s WORD Translation says:  “…He does not hold back any blessing…”
Psalm 115:14 in the Amplified Bible says:
“May the Lord give you increase more and more, you and your children.”
2.         Jesus came to give you abundant life. . .not abundant lack.
John 10:10 in the New Living Translation says:
“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”
I know what I’m about to say will have all the nattering nabobs of negativism and poor thinking going nuts BUT. . .the Word. . .is the Word.
God’s desire is for His children to be rich. . .not just in spiritual blessings but material blessings as well.
The King James Version of 2 Corinthians 8:9 says:
“For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though he was rich, yet for your sakes, he became poor, that ye through his poverty might be rich.”
There are two different but closely related Greek words for rich in this verse.
When the verse says “…though he was rich…” that particular Greek word is plousios (G4145) which means:
“wealthy, abounding in material resources”
The second reference to rich is when the scripture says: “…that ye through his poverty might be rich.”
This is the Greek word plouteĊ (G4147) which means:
“to be rich, to have abundance; of outward possessions; to be richly supplied; is affluent in resources so that he can give blessings of salvation to all.”
The Amplified Bible translation of 2 Corinthians 8:9 says:
“For you are becoming progressively acquainted with and recognizing more strongly and the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ (His kindness, His gracious generosity, His undeserved favour and spiritual blessing), [in] that though He was [so very] rich, yet for your sakes, He became [so very] poor so that by His poverty you might become enriched (abundantly supplied).”
Why does God want you blessed and abundantly supplied?  That brings us to number three.
3.         God wants you blessed financially so you can finance the gospel and establish His covenant.
Deuteronomy 8:18 in the New International Version says:
“But remember the Lord your God. He gives you the ability to produce wealth. That shows he stands by the terms of his covenant. He promised it with an oath to your people long ago. And he’s still faithful to his covenant today..”
Here are four things. . .every believer should understand about Deuteronomy 8:18.
First, remember the Lord thy God.  Always remember the One who gave you His all so you can be your all. . .through Him.
Second, the power to produce wealth is a gift from God.  He has endowed you with the seeds of greatness.  He has given us the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16.)
Third, God will never give you something unless He expects you to use it….
Fourth, God is giving us the power to be rich for a reason.
2 Corinthians 8:9 in the New International Version says:
You know the grace shown by our Lord Jesus Christ. Even though he was rich, he became poor to help you. Because he became poor, you can become rich.”
Why does He want you to be rich…..to fulfil His covenant…. What is His covenant….that we’re “blessed to be a blessing.”
God has given us the ability…the power to be rich for a purpose.
What does it mean to be rich? Webster’s Intercollegiate Dictionary defines rich as:
“having abundant possessions, especially material wealth.”
4.         God wants you to honour Him through your financial success.
Proverbs 3:9-10 in the Amplified Bible says:
“Honor the Lord with your capital and sufficiency [from righteous labours] and with the first fruits of all your income; So shall your storage places be filled with plenty, and your vats shall be overflowing with new wine.”
The Hebrew word for honour is kabab (H3513) and it means:
“be honourable,  be weighty, be rich, be glorious, be burdensome, enjoy honour, be made abundant; to get oneself glory or honour, gain glory”
We honour and glorify through our financial success.
In reading and re-reading Proverbs 3:9. . .it says honour the Lord with . . .first, your capital and sufficiency [from your righteous labours], otherwise known as your job.  But it also says we should also honour Him with the first fruits of all our income. . .meaning we should have several or multiple streams of income.
Let’s look at verse 9 in the New Living Translation where it says:
“Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce.”
Just saying that sounds like multiple streams of income to me.
5.         God wants you to be a consistent tither and giver to fund His local church and ministry outreaches.
There was a pioneer in the teaching of biblical finance and getting out of debt who passed several years ago.  I remember the first time I ever heard him teach.  It was on a VHS video at First Assembly of God Church in Goldsboro, North Carolina.
In this particular video. . .he said if you’re coming out of debt it’s okay to tithe what you can.  Start tithing with two or three per cent and work up. . .as you get blessed.  He went on to say. . .that God would understand.
At the time. . .it sounded good and noble. . .even compassionate. . .but it was wrong then and it’s wrong now.
Malachi 3:10 in the Amplified Bible says:
“Bring all the tithes (the whole tenth of your income) into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house, and prove Me now by it, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.”
Bring all of your tithes. . .the whole ten per cent.  If you don’t bring the entire ten per cent then you are still robbing God.  There is no asterisk or conditions at the bottom of the page when we read Malachi 3:10.
The Word of God is not conditional based on the mess you’re in. . .but when applied as written. . .it will deliver you from the mess you’ve made.
The gentleman on the video later changed his position and taught tithing as the scripture presents it.
There is another well-known teacher on finances who once taught the same mistaken principle. . .only to realize his success would be limited by teaching principles contrary to the Word of God.
I love the last part of Malachi 3:10 in the Message Bible which says:
“. . .Test me in this and see if I don’t open up heaven itself to you and pour out blessings beyond your wildest dreams.”
6.         God wants you to care for the poor, the widows and the orphans.
Proverbs 19:17 says:
“He that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the Lord, and that which he hath given will he pay him again.”
James 1:27 says:
“External religious worship [religion as it is expressed in outward acts] that is pure and unblemished in the sight of God the Father is this: to visit and help and care for the orphans and widows in their affliction and need, and to keep oneself unspotted and uncontaminated from the world.”
The New Living Translation of James 1:27 says:
“Religion that pleases God the Father must be pure and spotless. You must help needy orphans and widows and not let this world make you evil.”   
The way I read the scriptures . . . helping the widows and the orphans are not optional.  Rather it is the example of Christian love and compassion we show the world.
God is pretty serious about how we treat widows and orphans.  God even ordained certain laws to protect the widows and orphans.
Exodus 22:22 says:
“Ye shall not afflict any widow or fatherless child.”
The scripture goes on to say in Exodus 22:23 that God will know if we don’t follow His instructions.
“If thou afflict them in any wise, and they cry at all unto me, I will surely hear their cry.”
Lest there be any mistake. . .God laid out what the penalty would be for ignoring His instructions.
Exodus 22:24 says:
“And my wrath shall wax hot, and I will kill you with the sword, and your wives shall be widows, and your children fatherless.”
The Message Bible translation of Exodus 22:22-24 says:
"Don't mistreat widows or orphans. If you do and they cry out to me, you can be sure I'll take them most seriously; I'll show my anger and come raging among you with the sword, and your wives will end up widows and your children orphans.”
I’d say that God is fairly serious in His desire for His children to care for the widows and orphans.
So here’s the question. . .can you do more for the poor, the widows and the orphans when you’re poor or when you’re prosperous?
7.         God wants you to be the head, not the tail.
Deuteronomy 28:10-13 in the Amplified Bible says:
“10 And all people of the earth shall see that you are called by the name [and in the presence of] the Lord, and they shall be afraid of you.
All the people of the earth. . .not just those in your family, neighbourhood or even your local church.  All. . .means everybody you come into contact you. . .shall know that you are called by my name.
You can’t be a closet Christian and expect to prosper.
You can’t be Nambe Pamby about who you are in Him.
When you spent time in His presence. . .you can walk into every situation with a boldness that will create confidence in who you are in Him.
“11 And the Lord shall make you have a surplus of prosperitythrough the fruit of your body, of your livestock, and your ground, in the land which the Lord swore to your fathers to give you.
The Lord will make you have a surplus of prosperity. . .not a government stimulus package not even an inheritance from a rich relative.  Notice the scripture doesn’t say He will give you a surplus of poverty.  No, He will give you a surplus of prosperity.
This verse even shows a variety of ways in which God can get money to you.
Why is He blessing you so?  It’s simple. . .He promised our forefathers.
“12 The Lord shall open to you His good treasurythe heavensto give the rain of your land in its season and to bless all the work of your hands; and you shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow.
Over the years, I’ve walked into seven different bank vaults that I can remember.  Wachovia Bank and Trust, Southern Bank and Trust, First Union Bank and Trust, North Carolina National Bank and Trust, Bank of America, SouthTrust Bank and Wells Fargo.
I’m sure these bank vaults all contained millions and millions of dollars. . .but none of them can compare with the Bank of Heaven. . .which our Heavenly Father wants to open up to us.
He will bless the work of our hands.  However, He can’t bless what we aren’t doing.
I’m catching a new revelation of this verse even as I’m writing this.  I like the idea of lending money to the nations from the Rich Thoughts Bank.  Hallelujah!!!
“13 And the Lord shall make you the head, and not the tail, and you shall be above only, and you shall not be beneath if you heed the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you this day and are watchful to do them.”
The reason so many believers are yet to walk in the promises and provisions of Deuteronomy 8:10-13 is that like an ostrich they have their head in the sand . . . afraid to take a stand or a risk.  Content to hide from life and everybody passing them by.
The problem with having your head in the sand means you’ve exposed another part of your body for somebody to kick.
God wants you to be the head. . .so you’ll use it.  Not the tail because He doesn’t want you sitting on it…when you should be about His business.
Yes, in verse 13 we’re told to “heed the commandments of the Lord your God” but it’s the next six words that should provoke our thinking.
“…which I command you this day…”
Every day. . .not just on Sunday or Wednesday night. . .or when you get in trouble or when you feel like it . . . but every day. . .God will tell you what to do.  He will instruct you on how to accomplish the vision. . .the dreams. . .the goals. . .He has birthed within you.
Every day. . .we should look with expectation for His direction. . .then follow His instructions.
President Ronald Reagan said:
“Within the covers of the Bible are the answers for all the problems men face."
Or as we like to say. . .READ YOUR BIBLE.DO WHAT IT SAYS.
As we begin to prosper. . .we will more fully understand that. . .affluence creates influence.