Lesson 8.DEALING WITH SOUL TIE

 DEALING WITH SOUL TIES. By Dr I. D. Samuel 

The words which people use to refer to a deep emotional bond formed after intimacy might change…

But the power of a soul tie remains:

A soul tie can let a person influence or manipulate you, even if they are unaware they are doing so. It can also sabotage your future relationships.

If you are going to move on, you will not want to leave them hanging around.

Here is everything you need to know about how to break soul ties:

What is a soul tie?

A soul tie is a phrase that some people use to refer to a spiritual connection between two people.

In many cases, it is said to come into existence after two people have been physically intimate. In others, it is said to form after an intensely close spiritual or emotional relationship.

Common examples of soul ties refer to those formed with partners from previous relationships. That’s because this person had such a strong role in and influence on your life for such a long time that a deep bond or tie was formed.

That bond may not have necessarily ended when the relationship did.

Soul tie – symptoms

Soul tie symptoms are usually the same as those which are often experienced by people after the end of a particularly intense relationship. Although these effects can stay much after the relationship has ended, even years at times.

They might include:

* Obsessing about a person in your thoughts – particularly during the daytime

* Dreaming about a person or waking up thinking about them regularly

* Imagining or hearing a person’s voice in your head

The symptoms of a soul tie may reach a level where they impact your current or future relationships. Even to the extent where the person you are tied to might pop into your thoughts at awkward moments, such as when you are in an intimate moment with your current partner.

This means that breaking a soul tie is an important step to take before you can move on with your life.

How to break a soul tie

Breaking a soul tie has roughly four phases:

1) Acknowledge it is there

Much like anything which might be classified as a kind of addiction, acknowledging that you have a problem is the first step.

2) Decide you’re going to do something about it

Next up is action. This action can take many forms. Some people like to find someone to talk to about their problems. This might be a psychologist or therapist of some kind, or merely meeting up with someone you trust to talk about the situation. But talk therapy or meeting a friend is usually not an effective solution for matters of this kind. 

For particularly deep and troublesome soul ties, meaning those which have already proven difficult to resolve – or which may have been formed with a person who it later turned out was undeserving – further action might be needed.

But, because soul ties – for although they sound like a modern invention – have been around since people were people, many alternative methods have been developed when it comes to severing them:

The traditional healers of Peru, Brazil and many other parts of South America would recognize many aspects of the condition we now call a “soul tie”. It was one of the many things which have an ayahuasca ceremony was recommended because of the spiritual healing potential. The brew is said to help one reassess their life and the connections they’ve formed while living it. This process is also called Spirit Releasement.

Of course, the brew’s psychoactive properties mean that you should think very carefully before trying it. But places like the Spirit Vine Center in Brazil’s Atlantic rainforest are retreats dedicated to this kind of spiritual cleansing which have developed around promoting the positive benefits of ayahuasca. At the Spirit Vine retreat, decentre have a workshop for breaking soul ties. Everyone attending it learns techniques to overcome soul ties in 12 steps. There are also workshops on Spirit Releasement and Soul Retrieval where participants can learn techniques to cleanse the soul of pieces from others and to reclaim lost pieces of their soul.

3) Forgive

This is often the most difficult step to take. In some cases, this might be because you feel that it is the other person in the band who should be asking for your forgiveness. In others, there may be nothing to forgive.

Whatever the case, forgiveness involves identifying any outstanding mental “debts” which may be keeping the soul tie alive and releasing them. This might mean you need to forgive yourself for making past decisions – something which is incredibly hard to do.

4) Break the soul tie

The final step is to remove any physical objects which might link you to a person. This might mean photos you’re keeping “just in case”, gifts which you like and many others. These are symbols of the tie and need to be removed from your life. Even doing visualization exercises where you visualize the connection between yourself and the other person, and then severing it using your will and intention is a powerful way of finally releasing any bond.

Once all of the physical markers, mental debts and spiritual bonds have been dissolved, you should be well on the way to overcoming the symptoms of a soul tie.

10 REASONS WHY GOD WANTS YOU TO BE BAPTIZED

1. Because God wants you to have it! That should be enough for you. Acts 1:5 - For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.”Acts 2:38 – 39 - Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off— for all whom the Lord our God will call.”

2. This is one of the things Jesus came to do. John 1:32 –33 - Then John gave this testimony: “I saw the Spirit come down from heaven as a dove and remain on him. I would not have known him, except that the one who sent me to baptize with water told me, ‘The man on whom you see the Spirit come down and remain is he who will baptize with the Holy Spirit.’” Also see Matt. 3:11

3. You need a relationship with all three members of the Holy Trinity. Matthew 3:16 – 17 - As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him am well pleased.”

4. You will do the same things as Jesus – and even greater things. Do you actually think you can do this on your own power!John 14:12 - I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.

5. It’s part of the normal Christian life. Acts 19:1- 6 - While Apollos was at Corinth, Paul took the road through the interior and arrived at Ephesus. There he found some disciples and asked them, “Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed?” They answered, “No, we have not even heard that there is a Holy Spirit.” So Paul asked, “Then what baptism did you receive?” “John’s baptism,” they replied. Paul said, “John’s baptism was a baptism of repentance. He told the people to believe in the one coming after him, that is, in Jesus.” On hearing this, they were baptized into the name of the Lord Jesus. When Paul placed his hands on them, the Holy Spirit came on them, and they spoke in tongues and prophesied.

6. You need power to witness for Jesus.Acts 1:8 - But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

7. God wants to give you spiritual gifts. 1 Corinthians 12:7 – 11 - Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines. Also see Rom. 12:6 – 8

8. You are a Christian and that is how Christians live their life. Galatians 5:16 - So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. Galatians 5:24 – 25 - Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

9. We don’t want to be opposing God. Acts 11:15 – 17 - “As I began to speak, the Holy Spirit came on them as he had come on us at the beginning. Then I remembered what the Lord had said: ‘John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.’ So if God gave them the same gift as he gave us, who believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, who was I to think that I could oppose God?”

10. It comes highly recommended. Pope John Paul II – “Thanks to the charismatic movement, many Christians, men and women, youths and adults, have rediscovered Pentecost as a living and present reality in their daily life. I desire that the spirituality of Pentecost be spread in the Church, as a renewed thrust of prayer, holiness, communion and proclamation. May 30, 2004 Many other great Christians have testified to the power of the Holy Spirit in their lives.

14 Ways To Come Out Of Hard Times

14 Ways To Come Out Of Hard Times

I know of a Clinical psychologist who knows a lot about tough times. Her youngest sister died from cancer at 8 years old. In 2007, another sister and her sister’s husband died within two months of each other. At the time, Hibbert was just several weeks away from giving birth to her fourth child. Almost overnight, she inherited her nephews and became a mom of six.

She said,

“I have been a daughter in grief, a sister in grief, and a mother raising kids in grief. I know it is not easy.”

But when you do the work to overcome your difficult experiences, you can heal. “And, when we choose to do it together, our families really can become even better in the end,” said Hibbert, also the author of the forthcoming memoir

Maybe you’re going through a similar experience or are grieving another kind of loss: a romantic relationship, a friendship, a job, a house. Or maybe there’s a completely different kind of stressor in your life. Whatever you’re struggling with, here are 14 expert tips to help.

1. Acknowledge and feel your feelings.

“Avoiding your negative emotion may feel like an effective stopgap measure, but in fact, it simply postpones, and perhaps escalates and exacerbates, a flood of negative emotion sometime in the future,”

Ignoring your emotions is “like trying to run away from something that’s right on your shoulder. The only way to truly be free is to stop and face your emotions,” said Hibbert, who also specializes in women’s mental health, postpartum issues and parenting

Still, you might worry that your emotions will be too overwhelming. While this can happen, people tend to get stuck because they’re not feeling their emotions, Hibbert said. “Instead, they think about, wallow in, and replay events. But they are not letting themselves feel the pain, loss, sadness, anger, that is lurking within.”

2. Talk about it.

“When people bottle up challenging situations, the problems grow and mutate into horrible worries and anxieties,” said Ryan Howes, PhD, a clinical psychologist and author of the blog “In Therapy.” Talking about your troubles, however, helps you better understand your fears and get valuable feedback from others, “who have probably experienced similar levels of distress and can give you the perspective you need.”

3. Try to see past the hardship.

When you’re in a crisis, it’s hard to see any upside. But, with some distance, you may be able to see the situation in a different light. According to Howes:

Did you lose your job? Well, you’ve lost some in the past, and always landed on your feet. Did you fight with your spouse? Well, historically, you tend to bounce back. Have you had a panic attack? Most of your life hasn’t included panic, so we can assume most of your future won’t as well.

Some lost jobs lead to better jobs, some broken relationships lead to relationships that are a better fit, and some panic leads to finally getting the help you need.

4. Prioritize self-care.

“[Self-care] is necessary to survive tough situations,”[Y]ou won’t be of any help to others if you are incapacitated,” Howes said.

While you might not have time for your usual healthy habits, you can still take good care of yourself. For instance, if you can’t prepare a nutritious meal, keep protein bars in your bag, she said. If you can’t go to the gym for an hour, take a 10- to 15-minute walk around the block to “relieve physical tension and clear the cobwebs in your mind.”

Ten minutes of meditating or a 20-minute power nap also helps, she said. Remember that a stressful situation isn’t a sprint; sometimes “it may be more of a marathon. [You] need to pace [yourself] and take the necessary time to rest to reboot your mind and body.”

5. Consider if you’re experiencing a catastrophe or an inconvenience.

Sometimes we magnify problems, turning a fixable concern into a calamity. Jeffrey Sumber, M.A., a psychotherapist, author and teacher, shared a family lesson about viewing issues more accurately.

My great grandmother gave our family a very important key to coping with difficult situations in life. She suggested that if anything can be fixed with money, it is not a problem. This rule has been very important in my life as a reminder that so often we create catastrophes where there are sometimes inconveniences.

6. Practice acceptance.

“Let go of that which you cannot control,” Marter said. To start, make a list of everything you don’t have control over. These are the things you can stop worrying about.

“During a moment of meditation or prayer, visualize handing those items over to your higher power and letting them go. Then focus on what you can control, like your self-care, your words, your actions and your decisions.”

7. Ask for help.

You might assume that you can and should handle this difficult time on your own. Many people do. But, interestingly, when Duffy talks to his clients, most say they’d never expect others to manage similar situations alone. “We need to relinquish control, ask for help, and receive it with grace.”

When asking for help, you may need to be direct. Let others know what you need, such as “support and compassion,” and what you don’t need, such as “[not] criticiz[ing] my slowness to heal,” said Deborah Serani, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist and author of the book Living with Depression.

Seeking support from your loved ones also strengthens those relationships. According to Hibbert, “[F]amilies and friends who can be there for each other, who can listen, talk about things, and openly feel together, not only help the individuals heal, but protect and strengthen the relationships that, in times of stress, are otherwise too often neglected.”

And remember that there are many kinds of support. “Support may come in the form of family, friends, co-workers, a doctor, therapist, support group or even your higher power,” Marter said.

8. Limit time with toxic people.

Serani suggested spending less time – or no time – with toxic people. These are individuals who are not supportive or reliable and don’t have your best interest at heart. They don’t listen to you, and might even be critical, judgmental or demanding. After being with them, you feel drained and depleted. In other words, they make you feel worse.

9. Stay grounded in the present.

“Practice mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation and yoga, [which] are excellent for the mind and body when going through a crisis,” Marter said.

10. Call an end to the crisis.

“Far too often, we allow a crisis to define our lives and mindsets for way, way too long,” Duffy said. We burn out, become more anxious and depressed and have less energy and focus to find effective solutions, he said.

Calling an end to the crisis helps you shift into a calmer and more solution-focused state of mind.

For instance, Duffy worked with a woman who was grieving the dissolution of her marriage and going through a lengthy divorce process. “One day, we agreed that, though she did not have the power to end the marriage in the immediate run, she did have the choice to end the crisis she was suffering.” She still has to deal with attorney calls and paperwork. “But she is not in crisis.”

11. Observe the situation as an outsider.

“Take a ‘crisis break’ in which you relax and observe the situation as if you were an outsider, hearing about the circumstance from a friend or maybe a co-worker,” Duffy said. Take several deep breaths, and focus on your intuition. “You are very likely to derive some useful thoughts you would not have come upon within the midst of your anxious state.”

12. Just take action.

“If you don’t know what to do, do something,” Howes said. “Make a list, make some phone calls, gather some information.” Avoiding a situation only adds to your anxiety and “what ifs” he said. Taking action is empowering.

13. Remember that you are not your difficult time.

As Marter said, “You are not your problems or your crisis. You are not your divorce, your illness, your trauma or your bank account. Your true self is that deeper entity within that is perfectly whole and well no matter what you are experiencing.”

14. Remember that everyone heals differently.

“I encourage children and adults to remind others that this is their journey and that no one should be clock-watching,” Serani said. “Everyone feels in different ways. And everyone heals in different ways.”

Tough times can feel incredibly overwhelming and exhausting. But there are many things you can do to soften the blow. Plus, if you’re currently not in crisis but have issues to work through, seek professional help.

“It’s best to fix the roof when the sun is shining,” said Howes, quoting the famous saying. “Dealing with our childhood issues, relational issues, or anything else when we’re in periods of relative calm may be the best investment of time and effort we can make.”

And when you’re ready, look for the lesson. As Marter said, “Hardships are opportunities for growth and learning. They deepen our understandings of ourselves, others, and the world around us. There are hidden blessings that come with virtually every hardship, such as strength, wisdom, empathy or openness to a deeper spiritual awareness.”

May God help you out