Lesson 2. THE 4 TIMELESS NEEDS OF A MAN By Dr. I. D. Samul

 

"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus."

Before I share what the top 4 needs of your man are, I have to ask you to pause and pray. Pray that the Holy Spirit will gently show you any of these areas you can improve upon and find exciting ways to do so.

A woman said to me, Sir. I had to pray that God will soften my heart towards my husband and show me any area of resentment or bitterness toward him. It is so easy to look at our spouses and how they aren't meeting our needs that we just decide to not meet theirs either. We must humble ourselves before the Lord and commit o making the changes that only we can make. The Lord opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble! (James 4:6)

The Top 4 Needs of a Man

1. HONOUR

The number one need of a man is han on ours. Wow, can this one be a tough one for our ladies? I could write an entire journal on honour alone, but for now, I will highlight a few ways we can show him honour. Think of someone you highly respect. If I were to be around someone I admire I would speak kindly to that person, tell them how much I admire them and be their biggest fan. That is exactly what we need to do with our husband. It is crucial to allow him to fail, treat him in a high position, and look at and speak positively of him. When we honour our husband, we are honouring God as well.

I understand some of us may have a spouse who doesn't deserve this type of respect or honour. Let's do it anyway. Something supernatural is released in our marriage when we do what God ask of us. Start small by allowing him to make a decision; then, regardless of how that decision turns out, love him and cheer him on.

2. SEX

It is no surprise that sex made its way to the top 4 needs of a man (spoiler alert: it's not in the top 4! 🙂 ). However, I was surprised to see that it was number 2 AFTER honour. We honour our husband when we recognize his need for sex and we strive to meet this need for him.

Many things in marriage can inhibit our ability to enjoy each other freely. The enemy knows what a huge need this is in marriage and he attacks it from the moment we are joined together as one. We must ask ourselves and our spouses these questions regularly: What doors have I left open to the enemy in this area? Is there any baggage from my past that I brought into the marriage? Is there anything I need to share with my spouse about my past that needs to be brought into the light? What makes you feel loved and connected to when we make love? How are we doing in this area?

I have heard it said that your sex life is the pulse of how your marriage is doing. If you feel dead in this area take some time to ask the Holy Spirit what may be robbing your marriage of the joy that God intended. Discuss privately with your spouse and seek professional counselling if need be. Sex time is a serious time. Sex time is a solemn moment. You can't attend to your phone at this moment, you can't attend to the TV remote control at this moment. You can't be in hurry at this moment. It's a moment of fellowship, it's a moment of adoration.

3. FUN &COMPANIONSHIP

Now, this is a need I can easily get behind! 🙂 Men have always been adventure seekers. Whether they are outdoors hunting, playing a sport or a video game, or in the garage fixing something, they LOVE adventure! What makes a man even happier is when his woman joins in on that fun!

I believe the biggest hindrance to couples having fun together is the busyness of work, life, kids, etc. This will help so much to recognize that it is a NEED of your h band (not just a want) to do fun things with him. So over the years, you must be creative on what that looks like for you.

What fun looks like for you and your spouse will probably be very different than for us, but just find what you love and make time to do it together!

Don't be too lazy to join your husband in fun and game times. It may offend him in a way thereby making him develop cold feet towards you as touring sex and finance.

4. DOMESTICATED HOME

Last but not least, a man loves a well-kept home. This is another need that, in the beginning, made me cringe according to my British protege that won't let me share her name.

My Nigerian protege Peret Jacob said Sor. I hated housework of any kind until I prayed to God. If you are like me and this area doesn't come naturally for you, I have two pieces of advice.

Pray. Sounds simple, I know, but as I have prayed over this area the Lord has given me joy in cooking, cleaning, and taking care of our home according to her.

Ask your husband what is most important to him. When our kids were babies there was just no way I could keep up with cooking and cleaning everything. So I asked my husband what the 2 most important things were to him that I did daily. For him, he loved a bed that was made and dinner on the table. I recognize that not all women stay home, so please have this conversation with your husband about the most realistic way to have a domesticated home for your schedule. It won't look the same for every household, and that is okay.  

I pray that this n 2 was an encouragement to you and that you learned something new.

 If you want to know the top 4 needs of a woman follow me over to lesson 3 🙂

I would love to hear from you. Do you think this is your husbands top 4 needs? If not, which ones would you add in for him? This is a general guideline for most men, but as always we must be sure to ask the Holy Spirit to show us specifics for our own man! 🙂

Dr I.Dr Samuel

Your love and relationship therapist.

For lesson 3.

Click the link below 

https://idsamuelministries.blogspot.com/2022/01/lesson-3-10-timeless-needs-of-woman-dr.html