One relationship expert stressed that couples who have been in a long-term relationship often find their initial lust morphs into a love based on "friendship and contentment" over time.
"People go off sex for many reasons and falling out of love is just one of them,". "Plenty of men start avoiding sex when they start having erection difficulties and are too embarrassed to admit it. Lots of women who find sex painful or uninteresting will do the same."
What's more, not wanting to have sex can be tied up in negative body image, exhaustion or naturally low libido.
That said, there are 13 key signs that your partner is losing interest in your relationship - including a change in routine and avoiding talking about the future.
13 key signs your partner is falling out of love with you
- The affection is gone
- Disruption in your everyday routine
- They resist your affection
- They don't want to spend time with you
- They see family without you
- They adopt a new routine
- They avoid important topics
- They don't want to talk about the future
- They confide in others first
- They don't check-in when you're apart
- They won't answer when you ask if something is wrong
- They've stopped making an effort
- You're constantly arguing
1. The affection is gone
If your partner has never been into PDAs, this isn't much to worry about.
But if they were once affectionate and now acting distant then this could be cause for concern. Offences could lead to this situation. So, try to settle every issue.
2. Disruption in your everyday routine
If you've been living with your partner for a while, then you'll have developed your little routine - whether that's a cup of tea in bed or a washing-up rota.
The constant bickering is a sign your partner has fallen out of love with you
I. D. Samuel says constant bickering is a sign your partner has fallen out of love with your credit: Getty
But if they suddenly stop doing these things, Tracy says this is a sign of trouble - especially if they replace your "we" time with a new hobby.
3. They resist your affection
According to I. D. Samuel, you should talk to your partner if you've noticed them avoiding cuddles or resisting your affection.
"Ignore this at your peril,". "It's either a cry for help or a forewarning the divorce papers are drafted and ready to be served." Don't ignore such signs.
4. They don't want to spend time with you
Lockdown has forced us all to spend more time than ever with our loved ones.
But I say to you, there's a difference between being bored at home and losing interest in your partner - and if they jump at every chance to be away from you, it's something to keep an eye on. At that point, you are very annoying.
5. They see family without you
When people are thinking of leaving their partner, even Tracy says the family are the first to know.
She said: "If you're not being included in family get-togethers, it could be they're distancing themselves already (or your partner's worried someone will let on)."
It was equally as worrying if they stop wanting to spend time with your friends and family too as they don't want to be too attached. When the relationship is ending.
6. They adopt a new routine
If your partner has taken a newfound interest in their appearance or starred working unusual hours, this should set alarm bells ringing.
"Any sudden change in your partner's habits – that isn't talked about with you – are generally a sign that something is up." Start talking if you are still interested in the relationship.
7. They avoid important topics
A tell-tale sign someone is withdrawing from a relationship is by skirting around the big issues, that use to matter. Another expert said to look out for clues your partner is keeping communication basic - i.e. refusing to make plans and steering conversation around day-to-day tasks. At that point you barely make sense.
8. They don't want to talk about the future
If they're doubting the future of the relationship, it makes sense that your partner will shy away from any concrete plans.
On one occasion, my client knew his wife was falling out of love with him when she suddenly wasn't interested in buying the holiday home in Spain they'd been saving for. At that point, there is no future to talk about. Beware!
9. They confide in others first
It's only natural to want to get your loved ones' opinions if you're struggling with something - but if they consistently turn to friends and family before you, that could be a sign of trouble.
In one instance, the woman knew her relationship was over when her brother-in-law referenced how much her boyfriend was "hating" his job when he'd only ever told her it was "fine". At this point, you are no longer a confidant. You can't be trusted.
10. They don't 'check in' when you're apart
This one may vary from couple to couple - and if you never texted much throughout the day then I say you shouldn't worry.
But if you're used to regular "check-ins" which no longer happen, as an expert I say your partner could be checking out the relationship... no pun intended. It is natural to check on someone you care about.
11. They won't answer when you ask if something is wrong
When you're in a bad mood and someone asks you what's wrong, it's a classic move to lie and say you're "fine".
However, if this regularly happens in your relationship then I say this is the "emotional equivalent of a slap in the face" - and it's even worse if they won't look you in. the eye. They give you answers like "NOTHING" "WHAT DO YOU THINK?" Etc.
12. They've stopped making an effort
Although lockdown has made it hard to come up with late-night ideas, scheduling quality time to spend together is a key component of any relationship. They no longer make efforts to see you, please you or impress you.
And if your partner is no longer making an effort to prioritise this then I say. they're likely thinking of calling it quits.
13. You are constantly arguing
Constant nit-picking, finding fault where they didn't before, pointing out your failings when they used to applaud your successes… it might be they no longer like you, let alone love you." You irritate them at this point. You hardly make sense. You are just the problem in his or her life.
Walk away before he does because he is getting out.
I am your love and relationship therapist
Dr I. D. Samuel
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